What To Know When Dating in Switzerland – Shedding Light on the Myth

There are several myths going round about Swiss culture and social rules both outside and inside of the quadrilingual state, also considering Dating in Switzerland culture.

Myth number one circling expat groups: The Swiss don’t like speaking English – Not true, says former expat and international dating coach Kelly Brändli. However, an effort to learn the language of the Swiss region you are living in can make a huge difference, especially as part of the first impression: “The one challenge for many with online dating is the fear of needing to communicate in a language other than their native language. Again, making an effort by writing part of your profile in the local language will go a long way to connecting with the Swiss and expand your dating pool beyond your fellow expats.” (Kelly Brändli as quoted on myswissstory.com)

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Dating in Switzerland – Meeting in Person for the 1st Time

The first date IRL and probably many more after that will take place in a public space, most probably at a cafe or restaurant. It is said that while the Swiss like to take things slowly, they are pretty honest and upfront when meeting new people which means that game playing is a downer and won’t get you far. Be fair and honest about who you are and what themes and topics are of genuine interest to you, and your counterpart will reciprocate. The Swiss won’t leave you in the dark about their intentions either, or lead you on in any way – there is even scientific proof that in Switzerland, especially those people who are ready to settle down tend to go online to search for a potential long-term partner. A study by Gina Potarca from December 2020 found that Swiss couples who meet via a dating app have a stronger intention of living together and starting a family than couples who met offline: “Results show that couples formed through mobile dating have stronger cohabiting intentions than those formed in non-digital settings. Women who found their partner through a dating app also have stronger fertility desires and intentions than those who found their partner offline.” (‘The demography of swiping right. An overview of couples who met through dating apps in Switzerland’, by Gina Potarca)

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Dating in Switzerland – The Anti-Foreigner Myth

Yes, Swiss people are proud of their country. No, they are not opposed to meeting foreigners. “You have probably heard the widespread myth that the Swiss are closed off, don’t like to talk to foreigners and only socialize in their long standing circle of friends,” Kelly Brändli is quoted on the expat blog myswissstory.com: “Don’t believe this myth. This excuse is often perpetuated by expats to rationalize why they haven’t been able to date in Switzerland and it simply isn’t true!”

Opposed to common belief, the Swiss like traveling, are open-minded and thus more than open to dating expats: “The number of mixed marriages in Switzerland is on the rise according to the Federal Office of Statistics. In 2016 about 36% of all registered marriages in Switzerland were to non-Swiss nationals, in 2021 that number rose to 52% of all marriages were to foreign nationals. The numbers don’t lie.”

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Dating in Switzerland – Know What’s On in Town

What also helps with Dating in Switzerland is not only knowing the local language, but also a knowledge of – or at least keen interest in – local politics and culture. Take a look at what’s happening in town, or even better go out and see some of the shows, galleries or concerts you are interested in, so you will have something to talk about and shed a light on potential common interests (always a plus in a blooming relationship). Common interests, Brändli states, are not to be underestimated. Even though opposites may attract at first, a long-lasting relationship needs common ground to build on. This by the way also goes for an interest in local politics: “Being up to date on local political topics such as the next referendum is often a great way to engage a local Swiss in a conversation. The Swiss can become very passionate about such topics and are happy to share their views and opinions with others who are interested in debating different sides of the argument.”

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Dating in Switzerland – The Art of Subtle Flirting

If you intend to go old school and meet people going out, you should know that in general, the Swiss are more adapt to having a real conversation than being “hit on” openly at, say, a bar or a club. As writer Lea Hauke states on lingoda.com: “There are many ways to meet people in Switzerland. If you live in a town or city with a bustling nightlife, you could try meeting people in bars or clubs. Just beware: Being too straightforward about your intentions can scare some people off. Better to just have conversations for the sake of a conversation and not expect too much.”

To stay free of unknown traps, you may prefer meeting like-minded people and potential dating partners through activities: “In many cases, it’s much easier to attend local events or join a club with an activity that you have genuine interest in, such as hiking, yoga or painting. This is a great way to meet like-minded people (romantically or not), especially if you’re new to a place.”

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Dating in Switzerland – Dos and Don’ts

Having learned as much, we can now faithfully approach a Dos and Dont’s sum-up of Dating in Switzerland culture.

We have already acknowledged that the Swiss like to tread softly: “It can be difficult to establish contact with someone you like, but you might be better off taking it slow if you want to spark a connection”, says Lea Hauke: “In a culture where people are famous for being more reserved, it can come across as crude to start flirting right away. The line is rather thin, though. A lot of people wait for someone to make the first move, so they might be delighted if you initiate a natural conversation first.”

Do not be late: An absolute no-go takes us to Swiss punctuality and this myth, by all means, is actually true: Punctuality in Switzerland is not considered square or conservative, it is simply a sign of respect for the other person, which makes it a definitive priority in dating. Lea Hauke states: “Punctuality is a big thing in Switzerland. This is not limited to workplace scenarios, but transfers to every other part of life. Better to be five minutes early to your date, as this can be interpreted as a sign of respect.”

And what, you may wonder, defines the dress code? Well, rule number one is that you should feel comfortable in your own skin and as such in your chosen casual outfit, considering you are not planning your first encounter happening at a black-tie event. By all means, if you are used to wearing a suit wherever you go, there is nothing to be said against that either. However, much opposed to, say, Paris – in Switzerland you usually do not dress up for a casual meeting at a cafe or restaurant.

To sum things up: Be on time, keep it slow and put the accent on an honest conversation. Who knows where those first animated exchanges of interests, insights and viewpoints might lead you!

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